OK. Here it goes...

HI-

I've been lazy, haven't written in a while. Anyway, here's what has been going on for the past I don't know how many months.

1. I read a lot. Well, a lot to me is not for some, but seriously I've gotten through many more books than I had planned to get through this summer. I mostly stick to the best seller list (minus the harry potter) because I know those books are always kick-ass. Or at least they have been in my opinion. I guess it's good to start reading now.

2. I went to SOAR. It was not super exciting, but I did get my classes. Only 13 credits this semester, but they wouldn't let me take any other classes because they say "starting college is like a 3 credit course." Well. I guess that's ok. I tested out of the introduction english course YAY! Also, I was placed in 4th semester french and 2nd semester calculus. So everything will be great. I will be taking Chem 103 in addition.

3. I got a job at Cub Foods. It isn't so glamorous as a coffee shop, but apparently starbucks didn't like the fact that I had a vacation during the 1st week they would want me to work. - either that or I interview EXTREMELY badly and they didn't want to hire me even though I know the manager of the entire madison branch.

4. I'm typing on my new laptop and getting used to the Apple computer before college begins.

5. My so called friend doesn't speak to me anymore... Yes it's true! Though we were formerly best of friends (at least I thought) we haven't spoken since early june. I don't know what's up to tell you the truth. All of the sudden she started talking to me less and less. And of course I have to wonder, is it me? Knowing her, probably. You see, the whole time we were friends, she talked awfully a lot behind people's backs. - like what she didn't like about them. I heard it all. Some things minor, others I'd really have to agree with. And I often did wonder if she said the same kind of things about me. I was inclined to think "no" but now I have to wonder. Maybe the same thing that happened with her and Patty, happened with her and I (even if we were friends for MUCH longer and I didn't almost make out with her boyfriend). I know she did't like it when other friends became too close with her friends, so maybe I just got too close to "her friends" though I thought of them as my friends as well. So it started during the last quarter or so at school. She was in my AP Lit class and really I would ask her questions and most of the time she kind of ignored the fact that I was even talking, quite aggravating...however sometimes she would answer and actually talk to me as if nothing was different. Bipolar?, maybe. Of course I am one to blame it on myself.... I might think that it is because I started liking another boy when I was still dating my boyfriend of three and a half years. Really, though, how can you judge someone if you've never been in the situation. She liked John when she went to prom with cole. She probably thought it inappropriate, esp since she was so devoted to her own bf at that point. But it really was my business (not hers) to say what I can and can't do, and if that's something to break a friendship over, I really hope there were MANY MANY other things that drove her to stop talking to me. <<<<< (OK RUNON SENTENCE HERE)!!! This wouldn't bother me so much, however I feel like most of my friends were her friends also-not all, mind you, but quite a few, most in fact. And I also feel, that since they knew her longer than they knew me, that they would rather invite her to their get togethers rather than moi, or at least usually they invited her, and she invited me. Seriously, I haven't seen ANY of those friends for SO long because I dont' have the guts to call them very often, and they don't invite me to things ....oh, and I don't read Harry Potter, oh and work a lot of weekends. SO, it isn't just like losing one friend, it is like losing a lot of them, even though I know they don't take sides, and don't have anything against me. Although I do believe they know what she thinks of me, but they won't tell me. I really don't want to go off to college without talking to my friends all summer, even if some of them (including her) are going to the same one as me. I've asked Waner...and he didn't say like ANYTHING. I asked Rachel, and she said that maybe we both think that the other hates the one. I would LOVE to believe this, and believe me, I've tried, but for some reason I don't think that would motivate her to stop talking to me...or calling me....which stopped basically after calc 221 ended (when she stopped needing help for hw, though I needed help, too, sometimes) (I must be fair). So my question to myself and anyone that reads this, (hopefully not her.....though why would anyone, since I NEVER update??) : What should I do? Should I try to contact her???...most likely by phone. Facebook is too impersonal, and the message could be forwarded. Or should I just let it go. I feel like I need closure, like a break up. - and I know she won't call me. I'm not sending a letter, because Patty did that to her, and she laughed about it with me. I don't think if she was confronted with a phone call, she would laugh...at least in my face.

Sorry, I had to dump on everyone like this.


Anyway, that's pretty much been my summer....oh, but I'm not tan yet. I work too much inside to have time to be tan, but I did run for the first time today, a mile. 8min 44sec. That's my best time since FOREVER, so I'm really excited.

MB